Before I Go
by buffygirl52789
Summary: Set right after Chosen. Buffy and the gang reminisce about their times on the Hellmouth.


Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

Pairing: None really, but there is reminiscing of W/T, B/S, B/A, G/Jenny, and X/A

Spoilers: Chosen spoilers

Rating: PG

Author's Note: This takes place immediately after Chosen. The idea just came to me because I wanted to use this song in a fic so bad. The song is The Reason by Hoobastank. Please R&R!

"Yeah Buffy. What are we going to do now?" Dawn asked.

Buffy didn't answer. It had just occurred to her that it was over. The Hellmouth was gone, as was Sunnydale. All that was left was a big hole in the ground. It was a new beginning now, for everyone. She was no longer the only slayer, the chosen one. Now there were hundreds of girls, maybe thousands, who were chosen. The burden of being the girl who stands against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness was no longer hers alone. She finally had a chance at a semi-normal life. Granted, there would still be much work to do. They had to find all the new slayers, and explain to them their calling. But she had her friends by her side, and she knew that she would never be alone. As she stood there gazing out over the crater formerly known as Sunnydale, she felt a feeling of happiness that she hadn't experienced since her seventeenth birthday.

But she still had seven years of memories. There was the good: hanging out in the old high school library with her friends, happy times with Angel, time she spent with Dawn. And then there was the bad: dying, Angel going bad, Riley leaving, dying again, being pulled out of heaven, and of course the countless demons and apocalypses. But she had come out of it alive. She realized that she was grinning.

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Dawn asked tentatively.

Buffy turned around and beamed at her sister. "I'm better than okay." She surprised Dawn with a tight embrace. When they broke apart, she noticed the others standing around, probably reminiscing just as she had been. As she saw Xander standing alone near the bus, she realized that she hadn't seen Anya since before the fight, and she got a terrible sinking feeling in her stomach. She turned back to Dawn. "Is Anya..."

Dawn swallowed hard. "I don't think she made it."

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes for a moment. Then she headed over to where Xander was standing. She gave him a hug. "I'm sorry about Anya," she said softly. They pulled away, and Buffy noticed that Xander had tears in his eyes.

"At least she went down fighting." Xander wiped his eye that wasn't covered by the eye patch, another souvenir of their time on the Hellmouth. "I'm sorry about Spike."

Buffy gave him a small smile. "He saved us all." She turned around and stared at the crater again. Her mind was still processing the last words that Spike had said to her. In that moment, she had told him she loved him, and a part of her really believed it. But his words had made her realize that maybe she had been kidding herself. She had feelings for Spike, and she would definitely miss him now that he was gone. But she supposed that she hadn't actually loved him. She didn't know if she would ever love anyone except Angel.

She turned back around to see Xander watching the surviving Potentials. "So what's next?" he asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I honestly don't know. And I honestly don't care. I just want to bask."

Xander smiled wryly. "I hear ya."

At that moment Willow wandered over. "So I guess we did it."

Buffy gave her best friend a hug. "_You_ did it. You were incredible."

Willow smiled. "And the best part is, that I am still a redhead, and also vein free!" she half-joked.

Faith sauntered over to the threesome. "So goodbye Sunnyhell," she said. "It's been swell."

Buffy nodded. "So what are you gonna do now?"

Faith shrugged. "Haven't decided yet." She gazed at the crater. "I might stick around with you guys for a while." She smiled at Principal Wood, who was receiving First Aid from Rona by the bus. "There just might be things worth staying for."

Giles joined the group. "So I guess this is a new beginning."

Buffy smiled, having thought the same words herself moments earlier. "I guess so."

The five of them stood next to the crater in silence for a few minutes. "So many memories," Willow said quietly.

Just then Vi came over to the group hesitantly. "Um, Buffy? Are we going to go soon, because we really need to get some of these people to a hospital."

Buffy nodded, as she came falling back to reality. "Sure. Just give us a few minutes?"

Vi nodded and went to assist Rona with Principal Wood. Faith gestured in their direction. "I'd better go see how he's doing." She followed Vi.

Now it was just the four of them, Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles. They had faced so much together, and now it was all over, at least for now.

"I have an idea," Willow said quietly. She mumbled an incantation, and 4 red roses appeared in her hand. "Maybe we can just leave these here. In memory of Sunnydale."

Buffy smiled, and took one of the roses from Willow. "That's a great idea." Each of them took a rose, and stood there for a moment, remembering their times on the hellmouth.

_I'm not a perfect person,  
As many things I wish I didn't do,  
But I continue learning,  
I never meant to do those things to you,  
And so I have to say before I go,  
That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me,  
To change who I used to be,  
A reason to start over new,  
and the reason is you.  
_

Xander remembered his times with Anya, and tears sprung to his eyes once again. She had been the first woman he had ever loved, until he screwed it all up. If he could go back and change one thing from his past, he would stop himself from breaking her heart the way he did on their wedding day. He would never forget her. Images flashed through his head: Anya dancing with the money at the Magic Box, researching, stripping in front of him on their first night together...he smiled through the tears as he gently tossed his rose into the former Hellmouth. "Goodbye Anya."

_I'm sorry that I hurt you,  
It's something I must live with everyday,  
And all the pain I put you through,  
I wish that I could take it all away,  
And be the one who catches all your tears,  
Thats why I need you to hear_

As Giles gazed into the crater, the first thing he thought about was Jenny. He had never had a chance to tell her how much he cared about her; he had wasted precious weeks being mad at her because she had kept her heritage a secret. He thought of how she had made fun of his passion for books, and smiled. He never had understood her love of computers. Maybe if they had more time together, he would have come to. "Goodbye Jenny," he whispered, as he tossed his rose into the crater.

_I've found a reason for me,  
To change who I used to be,  
A reason to start over new,  
and the reason is you._

Willow cried silently as she remembered Tara. Her sweet, sweet Tara. She had been taken from her so suddenly, so unfairly. As she remembered her behavior after her death, she grimaced. She knew that she had let her baby down. But today, as she did the spell in the principal's office, she knew that she had been watching over her. And she knew that right now, she was smiling down at her proudly. She thought of Kennedy, who was waiting for her inside the bus. She wasn't Tara, she would never be Tara. But at least she had someone, unlike Xander and Buffy, who were alone. She cried and smiled as she tossed her rose into the crater in memory of her love. "Goodbye Tara."

_I'm not a perfect person,  
I never meant to do those things to you,  
And so I have to say before I go,  
That I just want you to know_

Buffy stood over the Hellmouth, deep in thought. She had grown so much, both as a slayer and as a person. She remembered the naive girl who had moved to Sunnydale years ago and smiled. She realized that she was proud of who she had become. Yes she had done things that she was not proud of, but now she was able to move past them and begin a new life. Maybe they would go to Europe, or Mexico. Andrew had said that it was nice there. Wordlessly, she dropped her rose into the hole. Then she began walking towards the bus without looking back. The others followed her, and soon they were all seated. They began to drive away, and Buffy was tempted to look back. But she didn't. She was done living in the past, and she was ready for the future, whatever it may bring. She smiled and settled back in her seat. It was going to be a long, bumpy ride, but she was ready to face the world.

_I've found a reason for me,  
To change who I used to be,  
A reason to start over new,  
and the reason is you.  
  
I've found a reason to show,  
A side of me you didn't know,  
A reason for all that I do,  
And the reason is you._


End file.
